Dawn of Souls

frozen peanut butter is so good. hmmmmm...after that riveting piece of information...i no longer have anything to write about... oh, boy...graduation is coming up really quick. why cant i be like this for just a little while longer? !!! i have something to rant about! got to my dads shop today, and did some stuff for him. i ended up arguing with my brother, and that pissed him off. and hes all like "that just makes my day even better" and shit like that. really i dont give a flying FUCK about how ANYONES day went. i used to be all considerate about how people feel, and dont get me wrong i still care, but if your day was crappy dont bother me with it. if it was good, thats fine with me. and i dont care what people think about me and shit like that. you think im an uncaring bitch, well guess what?......

ahhhh!!! when tblog came back up, man was i surprised!!! anyways, havent been doing much. my parents are in las vegas for the weekend....wooooo!!! par-tay!!!! j/k :P

i havent posted in a while. but due to the fact that my dad was a tad late on the internet payment, it cant be helped.

so, hmmmmm....dunno. not much going on. started school this week.

but it seems like ive noticed a change in my group that i hang out with. its like i seem to be more acknowledged, talked to. no longer the butt of so many jokes. the change is subtle, im sure that they dont even notice it. but i do. theres more contact between me and them. i hug, and they no longer stiffen up or push me away. i brush at something on their face or jacket and they no longer tell me to go bother someone else. i love them and say so, and so do they. except one, but i see it in his eyes. its not a sexual attraction between me and any of the group, but more of a group of friends so tight, any harm or violence paid to one is turned back ten fold. i know their own individual scent, i know the way their hair will fall when gelled, the way they wear a certain type of clothing, the way their face moves, i know their eyes and what they tell me, i can tell each one from the crowd from their walk, or shout. i love my friends......omar, brandon, max,alex, charlie, carl, jason......i love you guys......

ok, i couldnt sleep last night, so i came out to my computer (around 2:30) to see who was on myspace. and one of my friends is. so i get to talking with him, and i find out that he used to have a MAJOR crush on me! funny thing is i used to have a crush on him. and he started to be kinda flirty and he called me beautiful. :D :D :D :D

i dont know whats up with guys lately, but on the 1st when i went to the gas station, i had two guys hit on me there, and then my brothers friend and his brother have been really into me. and then two other guys on myspace!! i think i need to take out the part the says i like phone sex, thats right, i said phone sex...and im good at it.....;)

i was talking to me friend about all of this and she said that my self confidence has gotten a MAJOR boost lately. thing is, i dont know what gave me the boost!!

i know a bizillion other people have that title, but its something i gotta have. anyways, that was the most uneventful new years i have EVER had....i did NOTHING....aaaaandddd

im going to be looking for a job this next week. mom and dad are finally getting all over my ass about it. *sigh* and life goes on.

but, ive had an insatiable itch to go to the library. the dusty smell, the warm environment. its just the whole library setting that im yearning for. i love to read. and i havent been there in so long. ill go tomorrow probably.